My husband was the gardener in our partnership and didn’t enjoy sharing or the “interference”! When he suffered a very bad stroke, I had to take this on. I had had some experience as a child and cared for a window-box with alpines in my flat in London before we got married, so I was not completely unprepared and had learned a lot from him. 

I discovered the value to me that came from having another thing to concentrate on apart from my caring anxieties. It got me outside, I was exercising and discovered muscles I didn’t know I had, I was always learning new thing about plants. It was something that I could decide about independently (apart from the weather!), and I got enormous pleasure from colour, form, scent and the miracle of seeds becoming plants. As a result, I have become a plantaholic and enthusiastic amateur gardener unexpectedly. 

These activities are well-known stress relievers and give support for you mental and physical health – as I had learned, theoretically and practically, as a trainer of managers in my previous world of work. This experience has stood me in good stead since my husband died and I am extremely grateful for it, both when I was caring for him and since. 

 It is important to tailor what gardening you do to how much time and energy you have but I did and do find that it both relaxes me and re-energises me. There is a huge range of what you can choose to do from indoor plants, a pot of herbs on a windowsill, pots on a patio or a garden. As we had a garden, I was able to choose perennial plants which took less care than annual ones and provided the colour, scent and touch that pleased both Ray and me. 

 There is always the possibility of deliberately neglecting your garden and “rewilding” it! I’m sure it will surprise you what wildlife will welcome that, and they could become the focus of interest. 

 I recommend gardening to everyone including those of us who are older. I’m 94, so I can do less now than I used to, but I get enormous pleasure and satisfaction with what I can do. I am sure it is part of what has kept me alive and happy for so long! 

Caroline, Carers UK Member